Tips for Handling Scary Movies

For adults, movie going is a way to escape everyday life and enter a new world for a couple of hours. But for children, the experience is very real and can often be frightening. After all, don't you still remember one particular scene in a movie that terrified you as a child?

According to clinical psychologist Lewis Ribner, certain specific fears are common in children at different ages and understanding these fears can help parents choose movies that are appropriate for their child. Keep in mind that because many fears seem to be developmentally-based and because children develop and mature at different rates, what terrifies one child may roll right off the back of another.

Babies and toddlers may have a fear of strangers and fear of being separated from parent figures (especially mom)

Loud noises in movies may also be frightening to kids this age.

Preschoolers often have non-reality-based fears of things such as monsters and ghosts. "Children under the age of five especially have trouble distinguishing between fantasy and reality," says Ribner. "What they see onscreen may seem completely real to them, so animated features and cartoons can be as scary as live action."

They're also afraid of getting hurt and may be afraid of even non-threatening situations such as being left alone and getting lost.

Children in this age group may harbor fears of animals, water, high places, the dark, and going to school.

Kids in this age group may fear people and situations with which they may have had little or no experience, such as dentists, doctors, thunderstorms, airplanes, fires, and burglars.

Kids in this age group may also begin to fear death.

Tweens fear things that could really happen to them, including bodily injury, natural disasters, and dying.

At this stage kids may develop social fears as well.

If a movie seems too intense for your child, Ribner advises parents simply stop the DVD or walk out of the theater together. Then take some time to talk with and comfort your child. This will teach him or her that you respect their feelings and take them seriously.

Try not to rationalize the fears away. Simply telling a child that "there's no such thing as monsters" is not enough to dispel fears.

Don't ignore the fears. Encourage your child to verbalize just what in the movie was particularly frightening. If your child is hesitant, talk about what you thought was frightening. This may help kids feel more comfortable expressing themselves--and they'll be glad to know they weren't alone.

Look for the movie's message. If there is an empowering message--such as a hero who has to face his fears or a heroine who overcomes great obstacles--talk with your child about these themes. You might even draw parallels to your child's life by talking about a time when he or she overcame an obstacle.

Keep in mind that sometimes even a frightening movie can have a positive influence on your child. For example, Ribner suggests that children who have lost a parent may benefit from a movie that addresses this tragedy, so they realize that they are not the only ones going through the experience.